Forget smarts or cheek, there’s little novelty to be found in Jewel Thief’s juvenile script, barring its now free usage of the F-word to make it sound all hip and adult, observes Sukanya Verma.
The idea of a jaunty Saif Ali Khan sparring with a badass Jaideep Ahlawat sounds delicious on paper. By the time it makes it on screen though, Jewel Thief: The Heist Begins is akin to a sada dosa delivery for an order requesting masala.
The spice factor is sorely missing in director duo Kookie Gulati and Robbie Grewal’s bland, banal heist caper, which has nothing to do with Vijay Anand’s 1967 classic of the same name except a cursorily doffed hat.
Already abundant Hindi hack jobs of the ilk have moviegoers well-versed in the art of big-screen robbery involving the same old tricks of nicking passwords and fingerprints, cracking codes and combinations, dodging high security and noisy alarms to feel any real excitement around Jewel Thief’s surprisingly low stakes burglary.
It doesn’t help that the sought-after Africa Ka Kohinoor, known as the Red Sun, looks like a cheap Christmas ornament that our protagonists tell us is valued at Rs 500 crore (Rs 5 billion) in the underworld market.
Rajan Aulakh (Jaideep Ahlawat), a former mobster hoping to find footing as a reputable businessman, schemes to refill his coffers and appease a deadpan kingpin (Loitongbam Dorendra Singh) by hiring Rehan Roy (Saif Ali Khan).
Roy is the archetypal smooth operator living up to the movie’s title against fancy European destinations when not harbouring daddy issues or trying to get cops off his back as a wanted man in India.
It's awkward watching the 54-year-old still harping over broken ties with his virtuous Baba (Kulbushan Kharbanda) or mouthing cheesy pick-me-ups like ‘Tum jo churati ho woh dikhta nahi’ to Vaani Kapoor’s doppelganger (Nikita Dutta). Bit of a stretch even for the ever-so-disarming Saif to pull off such dated ploys.
What’s worthy of attention is how dandy Jaideep looks in his crime lord avatar. He's straight out of an ornate Korean villain catalogue sporting scars, diamonds and tattoos whilst adding a touch of desi in his Ram Jaane-inspired suits.
The actor appears to be having a wild time bumping off his loyal lot for effect and throwing attitude in a movie that is too run-of-the-mill to whip up anything else.
And so everyone gets an entry to assert their role in the David Logan-penned school play, er screenplay.
Rajan kills.
Rehan steals.
Vikram hunts.
Lattermost, played by Kunal Kapoor, is a cop hot on their trail with eureka powers that show up only when it’s too late.
There’s a blue-haired gamer girl jumping in and out to Saif’s rescue -- no questions asked -- as randomly as a fly passing in and out of a room.
Jewel Thief, produced by Siddharth Anand of Pathaan, Fighter fame, wishes to render an international quality to its neon-pink and moody reds lit action.
It’s alright when limited to picturesque Budapest and funky electronic background music but pure cringe when resorting to racism for cheap chuckles. Like the scene with a Japanese tourist in Mumbai’s art centre ensuing in the usual hakka noodles and sushi jibes.
I don’t know what part of Africa Red Sun belongs to but a member of its aristocracy decides the best way to transport the diamond safely is carry it on a commercial plane accompanied by a bunch of portly bodyguards of different nationalities.
At one point, the precious gem goes AWOL and this costumed fella screeches, ‘I want my red sun back’ like a landlord demanding rent while the heist-turned-hijack tries to justify itself as an act of service.
Forget smarts or cheek, there’s little novelty to be found in Jewel Thief’s juvenile script, barring its now free usage of the F-word to make it sound all hip and adult. Except India’s OTT original film scene is nowhere close to coming-of-age.
Truth be told, the vault is pretty much empty in Jewel Thief and Saif-Jaideep's momentary banter is its only source of sparkle.
Jewel Thief: The Heist Begins streams on Netflix.
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